6 November 1971: Siong Guan and Jennifer on their wedding day.
Jennifer Lim: “It did not matter to us that Siong Guan was not rich.”
“Our courtship was a little more than a year. Back then, the girl would usually bring her would-be husband or boyfriend back home for her parents’ approval.
“I was a good daughter and I listened to my father.
“My father did not know anything about Siong Guan’s education background, and neither did I. We did not know that he was a President’s Scholar.
“The only demand my father had of my would-be husband was that he had the same Christian faith, and that he was a good man whom he could trust his daughter with.
“It did not matter to us that Siong Guan was not rich.”
Mrs Lim does not spell it out that her father fully approved of Siong Guan, instead she comments: “In a wink, more than 50 years as his wife and as a mother, and now a grandmother!”
Visionary
When asked to describe her husband in one word, she laughs and retorts: “You are testing my vocabulary!”
But she quickly answers: “If I had to choose one word, it would be far-sighted… But is that one word or two?”
She pauses, then proclaims: “Visionary!” The precision of a teacher comes through.
Lim Siong Guan: “If it is good for Singapore, it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.”
Not wanting to restrict the description of her husband to a mere adjective, she adds: “Siong Guan loves Singapore. That is the part of him I will never refute.
“And because he loves Singapore so much, I feel, as his wife, I must support him.
“In the early days of our marriage, I would wait for him to come home as he was always at work. There were nights when he only had one or two hours of sleep.
“Why? Because he was always looking at how he could improve things for Singapore.
“There were times when I asked him: ‘Isn’t that your idea? How come someone else has claimed credit for it?’
His answer would invariably be: ‘Who cares? If it is good for Singapore, it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.’”
Give and Take
When asked to share an episode that best illustrates the kind of relationship she and her husband have, she remarks: “Only one episode?
There are so many! Where do I start?
“From the wedding to the arrival of our children… Those were the big episodes.
“Yet the routine day-to-day things are the crucial ingredients, the glue that has held our marriage together.
“I believe that ‘give and take’ is so important in a marriage — it has allowed both of us to become who we are today.
Teaching is a calling
“For me, I must say, with Siong Guan by my side, I grew to become the teacher I was destined to be.
“We both saw in teaching a calling, so I felt his utmost support.
I was very involved in teaching since I joined the teaching profession when I was 16. I felt teaching was my contribution to Singapore, and I always gave my best.
“But sometimes I didn’t know the danger of causing hurt to myself by pushing myself.
“For example, when I was pregnant with my third child, I was so determined to cover the syllabus and go through the revisions for the students’ exams before the birth.
“I got scolded by the gynaecologist for causing harm to myself and to the baby. So, I learned that I wasn’t so smart about things like that.
“It was instilled in me by my father and influenced by my husband that we must always give our best in everything that we decide to take on.”
Most Important Things in Life
And which is most important for her husband: Singapore, family or God?
Mrs Lim shares: “For my husband, all three are important. God is very important to Siong Guan, and he is a godly man.
He strongly believes that God would not give him any problem he cannot resolve, and he knows that things would always work out well with God’s help.”
Totally commited, but not totally aligned
Mrs Lim points out that she is not totally aligned with her husband — there are aspects of herself that are diametrically opposite to Siong Guan’s.
“My husband is not artistic, while I have an artistic bent. When I was teaching, I would design the school uniforms and choir uniforms for my schools.
“For one school, I used batik to express the four ethnic groups in Singapore, and inserted Singapore’s national flower, ‘Vanda Miss Joaquim’, to remind the students of their duty and loyalty to Singapore. I would also put in place ethnic-based dance programmes in the schools.”
Burden being a family member of Lim Siong Guan
Aligned or somewhat independent, Mrs Lim has shared a life with her husband, two daughters, a son, and now grandchildren.
But has it been a burden being a family member of Lim Siong Guan?
“When my daughters and son were kids, they told my husband: ‘Please don’t come to our school.’
I also made sure to work doubly hard so that no one could turn around and say: ‘She thinks she can be like that because she is Mrs Lim Siong Guan.’
“So yes, sometimes I felt that being his wife was a ‘burden’ because I felt that I could not afford to make mistakes, and there was always pressure to perform.
But I tried not to be too conscious of it, otherwise I knew that I would not be able to function naturally.
“I told myself: when you walk your talk, you don’t need to bother about small talk.
“And over time, as I got older, I started to feel that being his wife was not a burden. Instead, I started to be proud to be his wife.
Jennifer Lim: “Siong Guan is a good man.”
“Siong Guan is a good man, and is a kind and loving husband.
“In the end, however smart or talented, powerful or famous, you need to be good.
“He feels so much for Singapore.
“His long-time secretary, Mrs Irene Chow, thinks he should be cloned, and that’s the ultimate compliment for a human being.”
Share your thoughts with us at Hello@LimSiongGuan.sg.
Prepared by Joanne H. Lim
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